Relationship goals

Wow, wow, wow!  Relationship Goals  by Michael Todd, this book embodies everything a transparent marriage is.  The book went on sale April 28, 2020 and immediately an instant Best seller reaching millions around the world.

For those that have no idea who Michael Todd is you are just missing out.  Pastor Todd of Transformation Church in Oklahoma is by far one of the realest of our time. His ministry continues to reach millions around the world every Sunday with his message to represent God to the lost and found for transformation in Christ.  In 2019 his relationship goals message went viral on YouTube and God continues to speak through him and his wife with this new book which is just the beginning.  If you do nothing else this year for spiritual growth and personal growth at least be  encouraged to follow pastor Todd and Transformation Church as God is using them to bless millions.

So Relationship Goals, what does that mean?  It sure means more than the cute selfies and posts we see across social media going viral and single ladies using the hashtag #relationshipgoals which by the way, at the time of this article has over fifteen million searches on google.  That is actually 15 million people seeking something for their relationship and rest assure is more than a cute picture to post.

Our friend Webster defines relationships as a state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings, and defines goal as the end toward which effort is directed. So simply put  its safe to say a relationship goal for a couple is being with someone and together work towards a set of goals. Those goals to name a few can be working towards marriage, family and wealth.  The problem is that in order to win in these areas it requires work, it requires being in one accord and most of all a lot of God along the way.  

When it comes to marriage a book like relationship goals is perfect because it goes into a raw look of how to win in dating, marriage and sex.  You can read thousand of books on the subject but it won't mean a thing to you because in order for us to be encouraged on a personal level we need to hear from those that have walked through the valley and come out victorious and it is only by sharing their struggle and vulnerable transparency that we can learn from their mistakes and learn how Gods grace is sufficient for all of us to survive the storms of marriage. 

 Remember free people free people, when you share your struggles giving God the glory He continues to give you the wisdom to win in relationship and that is the ultimate goal.

A Transparent Marriage
www.atransparentmarriage.com

How do you choose to walk today?

You can either walk through life with God frantic or you can walk through life with God peaceful knowing that He is working in your favor because He is faithful and has promised to take care of YOU!

Let the Lord fight your battles,"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know" Jeremiah 33:3

Keep God first and watch how blessings overflow your life.

A Transparent Marriage

www.atransparentmarriage.com

Holding hands through the storms

We always find it beautiful when we come across an image of an elderly couple holding hands, Why is that? How is that sweet image able to soften our hearts? Can it be because we recognize that they made it, that they are victorious? Because they were able to achieve something we only dream about but for one reason or another life happens and we don’t think we will get there? What a blessing to grow old with the person you love!

Now do me a favor, Can you close your eyes and picture yourself at eighty years old sitting on a park bench holding hands with your spouse? Hold that image for a few seconds, take a few deep breaths as your seal it in your memory. Let the image give you peace, feel love and appreciation, let that image sink deep Inside your soul and save it there.

Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” He reminds us in Mark‬ ‭10:9‬ For when the storms of life seem overwhelming, Think of the peace your felt when your recorded the image deep inside your soul. The enemy will sway you left and right, over and over again through the years, he will try to make you think you are sinking but if you are grounded on the word of God No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper says Isaiah‬ ‭54:17‬


According to Peter we are to be “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:” 1 Peter‬ ‭5:8‬ You must make Jesus number one in your life and remember that image of the two of you holding hands after a lifetime of memories.

You may think, How will that image sustain me? When you make God your anchor, you are sustained by declaring Jesus is your Lord and Savior, because he says in Romans 8:28 “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
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Continue to hold hands through the storms of life, declare the blood of Jesus over your lives with God always at the center, seek Him every day and in the end you will bring that beautiful image to life.

A Transparent Marriage
www.atransparentmarriage.com

A quarantined proof marriage

In just two months in 2020 we were a nation of fans, churchgoers and travelers. Now we are a nation at home. A nation of zoom meetings not only for us but for our children. In all this turmoil I remember reading that spousal abuse is on the rise. It made me think what could be the cause of this. Is it that we live our lives so fast that we are accustomed to not spending time hearing our spouses? Is it that our job has been our priority instead of our marriages? And now that we are in quarantine having to share every moment of our day with our significant other that you have taken for granted.

Why do you reflect on the first time you met your spouse. Was it a funny encounter? What was your first thought? Was it love at first sight, or did you grow to love them as you got to know them? During this time that everything is on hold we should be listening, listening and listening some more to what they are saying and understand our spouses feelings. Do you have an issue that needs to be resolved? Has your marriage been struggling but you keep putting off the important things for another day? Now is the time to look at this quarantine aka reset as an opportunity to invest in your marriage.

Be encourage you to try some of these ideas:

Order food that you had on your first date.

Try to find the first movie you saw together.

Make vision boards, one for the places you have been to in the past and the second one of where you want to go, put on it your hopes, dreams and aspirations for the future of the marriage.

Find value in the time together by creating new memories. You can do this by cooking, listening to music and dancing together.

Love in a marriage is like a plant. You have to water it and give it light so it will grow. If this crisis is the new normal then don’t let your past normal dictate the future of your marriage. Go back to the beginning and remember what made you want to marry them I the first place.

A Transparent Marriage

www.atransparentmarriage.com

Glory to God!

I have heard the phrase "Glory to God" many a times and just now it made me question what does that really mean to us? I believe when you say "All Glory to God" you mean "I couldn’t do this great thing without his consent, I am just a servant who comes to show his magnificent power over this situation".


You see, when an actor gets an Oscar or Grammy, when an athlete wins the Super Bowl or the World Series you hear "I want to thank God" The thing is when you hear that statement you should really be hearing The Lord make a bold statement of His power. All credit goes to him by His will and power.

Can you and I say "I give glory to God for my marriage"? That what He brought you together was to show His glory on earth by bringing two different individuals into a binding contract with Him to create life, to be the generational curse-breakers and the servants for His glory for future generations.


In whatever you do, giving glory to God is realizing He made you for a purpose. Show your spouse that you are here to serve your family, friends and community.

A Transparent Marriage
www.atransparentmarriage.com

Who do you say that I am

Who do you say I am
Am I the genie in the bottle that you rub so that your wishes come true.

Who do you say I am

I am the one you call when something tragic happens and promise never to do it again. 

Who do you say I am
Am I the only one you call to when there’s a problem.

Who do you say I am
Am I the one you pray to reminding me you do good deeds, knowing that you want glory from men.

Who do you say I am?
I am who you need me to be, I am that I am.

I am the beginning and the end, The Alpha and The Omega. The one who listens when you cry, the one who calls on you to change your direction and your outlook for you to take a step back and change your perspective.  I am also the one who listens and the one who gives and takes. 

Who do you say I am?

I am the one who encourages you to change your life because you are seek a new beginning.

A Transparent Marriage

www.atransparentmarriage.com

Slow down and enjoy life

In the  world of today everything is about speed and convenience.

When we are hungry we pull up an app and our food is brought to us by a driver. When we want instant answers we google it or better yet we ask siri or alexa. We have become accustomed that anything we need, is right there in front of us! Yet, know that God doesn’t always work in such way. Not having instant answers and convenient situations in our lives makes us think that God doesn’t answer our prayers.

Gods timing is not our timing. Sometimes patience is truly a virtue in today's society of our fast-paced living. Time seems to equate to money but never living our life. We trade our time for money but not for God. I believe each of us was bought at a price with certain gifts to give to the world.  It's those gifts that we should use to help others. By mentoring and volunteering our time we can become angels and messengers of God on this earth to spread the gospel of Jesus.  It is through slowing down and realizing life's too short to run your race at someone else's speed. 

Slow down, enjoy the ride and help someone each day reach their goals and you will see how God opens doors that you thought were impossible.

Tip for couples:
Find opportunities in coming together as one in sharing your talents. Volunteer at a food bank or homeless shelter. Talk about the experience of helping others on your journey of being a messenger for Christ.

A Transparent Marriage

www.atransparentmarriage.com

A transparent marriage

What is having a transparent marriage winning in weakness?  What does that looks like? 

He covers me
I cover him
We cover each other
God cover us both

Celebrate your weaknesses, for each day in Him you are strong.  Let your testimony be a story of victory.

John 10:10 I came that they may have life and may have it more abundantly. ... But I came to give life—life that is full and good. ... I have come in order that you might have life—life in all its fullness.

A Transparent Marriage
www.atrasparentmarriage.com

Love, Live, Laugh!

John F. Kennedy said "Do not ask what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country", Lets change that up and put that in a kingdom perspective. Do not ask what God can do for you, but what you can do for God.

The heart of a servant is what He needs, to hear your inner Spirit step out in faith and be the angel on this earth. The Gospel is the good news where God gave His son so that we may be cleansed by His bold sacrifice.

Have you ever been in a situation that your heart was tugging to do something but turned away?  Don't miss your opportunity to be Gods helper. A lot of people say that God never speaks to them but I believe He does.  When you hear a word that touches you or a song, take a moment to ask God your father, what do you want from me and how do I serve you?


Be purposeful in doing and do not be afraid for He calls you to be His messenger not only by what you say but by being a living example of His word.  Mercy, grace and forgiveness are difficult for anyone.  We are measured by the measurements we measure others with. In other words, forgive and we will be forgiven. Luke 6:37

Live, love, and laugh! Take a moment every day and find inspiration in one thing each day. If you change your view, you change your heart and in turn changes your environment.

Live, love, laugh.
Live to love, love to laugh.


A Transparent Marriage
www.atransparentmarriage.com

Who do you serve?

In this day in age its easy to call yourself a believer, that by accepting Jesus you are transformed, that you are filled with the Holy Spirit. Yet many continue to do the same thing as before.

Being in Christ is a new thing, a born again experience, a chance at a renewed life not for what you are living for but for choosing to live with a Godly purpose. To be first is to be last and to be last is to be first. Being reborn needs to be done from a heart of a servant.  He came to serve not be served.

As a believer and follower, we are called to be His servants, yet we continue to serve a worldly God.

So I ask, who do you serve? Do you serve the God of lies? Do you serve the God of money? Do you serve a God of selfishness? 

Who is really the God you serve?

A Transparent Marriage

www.atransparentmarriage.com

God speaks!

I woke up one day, and as I as laying there I started to see visions of things. The first was an arm, so I said "I know I just had a shoulder operation". "God why am I seeing this"? Then I saw two arms picking something up again I asked God "why am i seeing this"? Then I saw two legs running. Then a set of eyes and ears. Then a mouth and at the end a heart.

I asked God "what do all these body parts mean"?  My heart moved as He whispered to my soul, "The first arm was you trying alone to pick something up. The next was two arms that were working together picking something up and that represents the helper I have sent you, your wife. The set of eyes and ears represents both, you and your wife hearing and seeing the word together. The mouth represents the word that both of you are spreading. The fruit of the mouth, speaking in unison. The heart is where your souls are, coming together as one united in seeking God".

All these parts of the body were created for working together for one purpose, to further His Kingdom through the unity of Marriage.


A Transparent Marriage
www.atransparentmarriage.com

My Vase

In this day in age its easy to call yourself a believer, that by accepting Jesus you are transformed, that you are filled with the Holy Spirit. Yet many continue to do the same thing as before.

When I was really young my mother told me a story of a vase representing trust that once broken no matter how hard you try it will never be perfect because you will always see the flaws. For some unknown reason God woke me from my sleep and that story came to mind.

So I asked myself what does that story mean to me now that I am a Christian.   I sat and prayed, what would Jesus do? I imagined myself in a museum of old artifacts and saw many vases on a small table,  it was in the section called life, I walked by and saw many vases. There were many vases,  of trust, of love, of patience, of kindness, of forgiveness, of repentance. As I walked by I hit them by accident and they all came down with a loud crash. As I stood in shock Jesus came and swept all the little pieces and began putting each vase together. 

His patience  and determination made me feel unworthy just to even watch, but in seeing His love for all the vases and how patient He was I began to see each one come to life  again.  After putting all the vases together He stood up, smiled at me and walked away.

I stood in amazement of how He put everything that was broken into beautiful vases again. Yet I noticed something strange, it was true what my mother said, the vases will never be perfect.  I still see the cracks although small,  there they were.

So I asked  Jesus, why didn't  you make it perfect like they once were? That's when I heard him say, "You were never meant to be perfect, its through your cracks and imperfections that I work with.  In the-section of life, I make the brokenness into something beautiful. Its only when you are broken and put together piece by piece can I truly show the world my immense love".

I finally realized that only through our brokenness can we truly see God’s handy work in our lives.  May this encourage you to look at your faults and bring the broken pieces to Jesus so that He may restore your vase back to what it was meant for, to show His love to the world!

A Transparent Marriage

www.atransparentmarriage.com

Finding our treasure!

How about if daily you decided to take an inventory of your deeds, to make sure you do good because when you go home to your eternal life you want to make sure you are rewarded, You don’t wanna look around and think "had I only did this or that on Earth I would have earned that and that in Heaven", be led by  that feeling of pleasing the Lord in all your ways versus impressing man so that you can hear “Well done, good and faithful servant You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!" Matthew 25:21.

Heaven is real! Jesus died for us to live eternally, that is so crazy, still to this day we are awe of the ultimate sacrifice, a sacrifice that easily goes unnoticed as we live each day. A sacrifice that we don’t deserve, a sacrifice that will guarantee us free entry through heavenly gates some day. 

Wow, Wow, Wow. Can you just imagine the magnitude of what that means? People will mock us, will put us down and will talk about us because we know something they don’t know yet. We found the ultimate treasure and It has the name of Jesus.

A Transparent Marriage
www.atransparentmarriage.com

The God we serve!

We serve a mountain moving God.
A God that walks through the valley of darkness with us.
A God who provides all of our needs.
A God that closes the doors that need to be closed and opens those that need to be opened.
A God that removes people from our life meant to harm us and replaces them with ones to be a blessing. 
An all knowing God that even when we go down the wrong path He makes our way straight.
A God that is there guarding us and protecting us every step of the way. 
A God that knows we are sinners.
A God that knows we are not perfect.
A God that knows our heart and along with all the impurities in it and His love for us is never ending.  

We serve a God whose grace is sufficient for us each day of our lives!

A Transparent Marriage
www.atransparentmarriage.com

New normal?

Get used to the "new normal".  Everyone is talking about it and spreading a tremendous amount of fear about our new normal with Covid-19 surprising us early in the year 2020 but how about we choose to say "Get used to a new reset" instead?  Enough already of dwelling on the fear that the world will never be the same and feeding into society's standards of the unseen and what's normal to them.

A definition for reset is set again or differently. How about working towards making our future better by resetting our habits, resetting our priorities, resetting our time, resetting our focus, resetting our goals. Think of how would the world look like after achieving that instead of wasting time fearing the worst by simply choosing to reset our mindset.

What if, the new normal they keep talking about turns out to be that people are kinder, there is less crime, families are closer and that relationships are healed?  So what if we may have to wear a mask for longer than we thought and learn to be extra careful as the country reopens. If you are blessed to open your eyes and take a breath each morning the possibilities are endless for the kindness you can spread each day. Be encouraged to spread kindness and hope, it does not cost a dime and it is of immense value to those around you and yourself if you open up to be the light in someone else's darkness.

In the face of crisis we have witnessed over and over how the world comes together showing love and being of service, the resilience people show is inspiring. This is a perfect time to be just that, to show the world how resilient we are and that we accomplish more if we work together in one accord. 

Be the one who joins the movement of love, hope and kindness instead of the one spreading fear of the unknown. While we don't know what three, six or twelve months looks like down the road, know one thing, if you opened your eyes this morning, you have purpose and another shot at resetting your mindset from fear to faith.

A Transparent Marriage
www.atransparentmarriage.com

Who is the pilot of your plane?

Our life is an illusion, the unsaved believe that if you do more good than bad, when you die if the good outweighs the bad you get into where?

As Christians our illusion is that by saying some words we are saved, yet the bible says  “You have faith, I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. James‬ ‭2:18‬ ‭

I keep having this dream about getting on a plane. So I sat down and tried to analyze it and I started thinking a plane represents me being in control. I pick the destination, I pay, I take my seat and I am on my way.  If you have ever been on the plane you know you start off by waiting to board, then your row gets called, walk towards the entrance, upon entering you meet the captain and the stewardesses and they guide you to the seat. Make sure not to block the aisle so the next person behind you can keep going.  That is a typical boarding process, correct?  

My dream had Jesus welcoming me as I boarded, imagine if Jesus was the pilot of your plane! Do you honestly think you are going where you planned?
Unless you are a pilot, the average person has to trust the captain of the plane to get to their destination safe and on time.  Imagine if you put your complete trust in Jesus flying your plane.  Imagine the places He would take you!

Anybody who has ever traveled can tell you at least one story of turbulence so know and be encouraged, that if Jesus is flying your plane, you are going to go through turbulence in life. It might be a little bumpy or it might be the type of turbulence that has you praying the whole way. 

So, are you sure you are willing to be in the plane if Jesus is piloting?


A Transparent Marriage
www.atransparentmarriage.com

Do I believe what I say I believe

During breakfast with a group of girlfriends one happened to share her experience during the Hawaii missile attack notice sent by accident and as she told the story one thing she said spoke to me. She explained that during that time where some people were panicking across the Island she said to herself “Okay Lord, If I believe what I said I believe” as she realized the attack could actually be true and its time to take cover as instructed, she joked that she heard a lady ask a group “are you ready to meet you maker?” We all laughed and continued chatting not taking lightly the seriousness of what people experienced but I kept thinking to myself wow that was deep, that really spoke to me Okay Lord, “If I believe what I say I believe”

Lord, If I believe what I say I believe then as I lay my head down I will be at peace knowing that you will make my path straight “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” It Says in
Proverbs 3:5-6

Lord, If I believe what I say I believe then I dont need to worry about tomorrow because your word says “So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:31-33

Lord, If I believe what I say I believe then I should not be afraid of my enemies because in Isaiah 54:17 you say “no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the Lord.”

Lord, If I believe what I say I believe then when I feel like I am not good enough you say In Eph 2:10 “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for is to do”

Lord, If I believe what I say I believe when I start to feel anxiety as I wake up in the morning with so much to get done and realizing I dont have the resources, you say “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7

Lord, If I believe what I say I believe then when I feel
Unqualified for your blessings, your forgiveness and your love because of all My sins as I fail you every day you remind me in Eph 2:8 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God”

Reflection:
Lord now I say, when the struggles and storms of life sway me left and right I choose to believe in your promises for my life!

A Transparent Marriage

www.AtransparentMarriage.com

Have purpose, be the sword of The Lord!

Since being in the Boy Scouts I was taught the motto of "Be prepared" and one of the things all Boy Scouts must have is a pocket knife, from that little swiss army knife started my fascination with knives and weapons in general. I woke up to a word this morning and found myself thinking of a sword and the process it goes through to be a sword. You see, a sword is a tool that was made for a purpose. Before the master forger even touches the raw metal he already knows the purpose and what the sword will look like. 

We, just as that metal start off as nothing, only when he puts us in the furnace of life is that we begin to feel the heat.  By the process of fire we become soft to the point that now our master forger can begin by smashing the impurities out of us with his own hammer, that jealousy, anger, lies,  and generational curses are smashed out and when the time is right. He quenches the sword in waters of salvation!

You can say you are a Christian but just like the sword until the process of sharpening takes place there is work to be done in you. You become sharp by reading the word, through daily prayer seeking Him, that's how the Lord starts to hone your blade.

Where once you reacted a certain way now the word changes your reaction. Where once you had a critical spirit now you catch your thoughts and see it through the eyes of Jesus. Where once you were selfish now you openly share yourself to being a vessel for the Lord.

Yet a sword is not a sword until the Lord puts a handle on you. By putting the handle you become His sword. In His hand you become a weapon with a purpose, a sword to cut the darkness with light. Only by going through the process can you become a this sword.

For my older saints, I haven’t forgotten about you.

Even though your sword was made many years ago and you now might be looked at as a museum piece, you are still a sword capable of inspiring others to become a new sword for The Lord just continue to sharpen yours.

A Transparent Marriage

www.atransparentmarriage.com

Let us walk upon the water

During times of great anxiety, whether it is your job, your children, or your finances, know The Lord is in control!

Remember that He walked on water in times of great fear towards His disciples. In moments when life takes an unexpected turn, take a step of faith and have courage to walk upon the waters of fear, walk upon the waters of the unknown, walk upon the waters of a loss; even if it is in the form a of job, a possession or a life. Take a step of faith.

Although the storms or life may not stop when we wish, He taught us to take that step of faith and believe in His majesty. He sits on His thrown no matter how hard our situation gets. It’s through the tough times that He shows up on the waters and allows us to see His glory.

We as a generation must come together and not turn to fear from His calling for us. We are called to be the lamp in the middle of the room. Let us light up the rooms of darkness and pass our light to other lamps so that they may light rooms in the rest of the world.

We must not fall into the enemies schemes. Be encouraged, know He is with us. Psalms 118:7.  You will experience times when you come across deep waters but know you are not called to be in the water, you are called to walk above the water.

A Transparent Marriage

www.AtransparentMarriage.com