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A transparent marriage is a devotional ministry that was birthed out of gratitude to our Lord and Savior. By His grace we are saved and if you invite Him into your life He will do the same for you.

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Showing posts with label couples therapy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label couples therapy. Show all posts

Adams where are you?


A couple weeks ago one of our pastors was preaching and he asked a simple question during the sermon. Adam where are you?
He spoke how God was cutoff from seeing his children. Sin had come between them. It was at that moment they were cast out of Eden.
I’ve been waking up with same questions for a couple nights now and this morning as I write this the sun hasn’t come up yet.
We as men are the “ Adam’s “ of the world.
So I’ve been tasked with asking.

Adam’s where are you?
Where are you when we see social media being a tool of division than uniting us? We are like mice in a laboratory. The algorithm feeds us our wants and desires to keep us happy for hours on our phones. We are addicted to information to the point we miss out to much of what’s going on around us.

Adam’s where are you?
When the Gospel of love is being hijacked By the Lgbtq community to allow Gay pastors on the pulpit and Gay people in position of power within churches because we as men are told not to ask. Jesus is the prophet of love but He also said it simply “go and sin no more.” Are we not called to be salt in our society of blandness? Do we sit idly by seeing how our houses of worship are Lukewarm by being so all inclusive that we would rather fill seats than share the message of sin and redemption. Getting back to the basics of what sin is will go a long way of not letting it hide in plain sight.

Adam’s where are you?
During this conflict in Isreal. Do you chant the slogan from the river to the sea or do you stay quiet? Do you pray for Israelis and Palestinians equally knowing that war only brings pain to the innocent. Do you support terrorist or freedom fighters? Do you believe in the right of self defense and to live in peace? As for one who made a pilgrimage to the Holy land I can attest very few there realize how Holy that land really is. If they did they wouldn’t send thousand of rockets over the skies of Israel.

Adam’s where are you?
When we see antisemitic protests. Do we know where the root of antisemitism comes from? The fact is antisemitism was born out of the church during forced conversions.
From the inquisition to the crusades even to the expelling from countries our Christian forefathers have much Jewish blood on their hands in the name of the faith.
A past lie that was repeated throughout history was that the Jews killed Jesus. Yet forgetting that Jesus himself could have called legions of Angels to his side for protection. He went willingly to the cross as the sacrificial lamb.
We must as Christians know that past history as to never repeat it.

Adam’s where are you?
Do you share with your closest people your internal struggles. The dark hidden pain that trauma has made you forget. A pain that when if it were to come out into the light you would feel embarrassed. We must remember we have brothers in arms that will stand in the gap giving good counsel even when we fall there will always be hands to lift you up.

Adam’s where are you?
Have you as a child of God identified your generational curses? As a father and priest of your house have you identified from both your lineages the wrongs of your ancestors? Adultery, lying, cheating , stealing, addictions anger, envy. A good father leaves an inheritance. What inheritance will you pass on that is good for your future generations.

Adam’s where are you?
In these turbulent times where right is wrong and wrong is right. Where do you stand with a man identifying as a woman to play woman sports. Where do you stand with society telling us not to offend anybody by calling people pronouns. By blurring the lines of what man and woman is we are allowing people to believe they are God. That by identifying other than what you where born as you are saying God made a mistake.

Adam’s it’s time we not only ask the hard questions but seek the hard answers. Will we as the Adam’s of the world continue to stand idly by as the Apple is passed around?
Adam’s wake up for there are many battlefields that await us.
Which field will you you be willing to fight on?

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.””
‭‭Joshua‬ ‭1‬:‭9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

You can't heal if you can't reveal




We read in the Bible about walking through the valley and fighting battles and we are also assured that Jesus is with us every step of the way.   If we know Jesus walks with us through the storms we face in this lifetime, we also understand that they have a pruning effect in us.  Through struggles we learn how much we need Jesus.  What if we change our perspective and learn to  fall in love with our struggle instead of dwelling on how bad the situation looks to the human eye?  If we identify that the enemy is attacking us because we matter,  we can own the power of our struggle!

Pastor Michael Bulkley from Kingdom Life Church in Milford, Ct said it best during one of his many sermons  in 2017  "Not all truths are meant to be shared with everybody but they are meant to be shared with somebody.  If you keep your stuff, it can never be used to help someone else".  So many marriages end in divorce because they simply faced struggles alone.  They spend years putting on a mask, keeping up with the Jones' while behind closed doors their marriage was dying more and more each day.  How many of these marriages could have been saved if they had just trusted someone enough to help them sort out the issues before they became so unbearable ending in divorce? It is no different than someone who seeks professional help for anxiety, you sit with a professional, discuss your triggers, and they send you home with coping skills or if needed some medications to take the edge off.   Why is it so hard for us to find help to save our marriage when there are thousands of tools to help us to prevent it from  ending in divorce?  


One common factor is the lack of transparency fueled by pride.  We get married, post on social media portraying a perfect family and refuse to admit to anyone when we are hurting because we either have too much pride to ask for help or are too concerned about what others think of us.  This is exactly where the enemy wants you, alone and isolated.  Instead, if we learn to surrender  by making ourselves vulnerable enough to share our struggles with others and choose to go to God for wisdom, He extends a grace and a freedom that helps you grow and understand that there is power in your struggle.  Your struggle is not for you, it is to help others get free and to give God the glory.  When you share your story, it opens the door for God to move and help others but you have to keep your motives in check.  Ask yourself, are you trying to belittle your spouse or are you truly seeking to repair your marriage by defeating the enemy to  grow stronger together?

Know that struggles never end for believers.  When you choose to give God the glory over everything you endure, He will  put the right people in place to lift you up, the right people for you to confide in and will walk with you through the struggles.  Find your tribe, ask God to reveal those people who truly need to be in your inner circle and those who don't belong. Not everyone deserves your trust, ask God for discernment to see who is genuine. If you want our testimony be a blessing for others you have allow your transparent brokenness to be used by God.   Be encouraged to pray for God to cover your marriage and submit to the Holy Spirit and each other every day and you will surely experience a peace that surpasses all understanding.

For when I am weak, then I am strong 2 Corinthians 12:10