Walking the walk

As christians  we know that men and women of God can fall because the only one that was sinless was Jesus.  We put faith that those we follow as our pastors get up every morning to fight an enemy that is well aware of their weaknesses which we know nothing about. 

If you are blessed to get fed weekly from a pulpit remember to remove that man or woman  and focus on the message not the messenger.  Stop glamorizing these flawed humans, stop being a groupy and a cheerleader about their life.  Focus on the word not the man.

While these men and women are trusted into ministry and we all hold them at a high standard yes, but they are not Jesus, the enemy will continue to prey on them because he knows that is the quickest way to discourage both new and seasoned believers. Yes, moral failure needs to be exposed because we serve a God of excellence but please stop making your religious walk about church clicks and glamorize those in leadership, make it about the word instead so that when you hear about these things you are able to separate the two without affecting your walk and allowing the enemy to use those situations from discouraging you and your family from the spiritual walk ahead of you.

The journey

Life is a journey but journey’s turn into adventures when you find your compass.

Who is that compass that makes you laugh, love and live?  Living your life to the fullest comes through investing your time into your relationships. Many men and women put careers, friends and even possessions above the people who really matter.  Who is that person you can’t live without?  Who is that person you can’t stop talking to?  Who is that person that you can confide in without worries of judgment?  Who is that person that at three in the morning you can call and they would be ready, willing and able to help you?  True friends never stop being friends.  When answering any of these questions did your spouse come to mind?  If not, why?  Self reflection comes from understanding that your spouse is, and should always be your go-to and all other relationships are extra in your life’s adventure.  

Reflect for a minute the day you got married and looked into their eyes?  What did you feel?  Why did you feel that way?  That feeling of amazement should be how you always look at your spouse. This is the secret of how you date your spouse for life.  Love doesn’t stop because life got in the way.  Love becomes stronger because life couldn’t stop you from taking on and talking the problems out.  Together forever seems like a long time until days turn into months and months to years.  When you finally look back after years of marriage and the kids have left to live life, you will wonder how time got by so fast.

Live, love, laugh everyday because life is too short.

Relationship goals

Wow, wow, wow!  Relationship Goals  by Michael Todd, this book embodies everything a transparent marriage is.  The book went on sale April 28, 2020 and immediately an instant Best seller reaching millions around the world.

For those that have no idea who Michael Todd is you are just missing out.  Pastor Todd of Transformation Church in Oklahoma is by far one of the realest of our time. His ministry continues to reach millions around the world every Sunday with his message to represent God to the lost and found for transformation in Christ.  In 2019 his relationship goals message went viral on YouTube and God continues to speak through him and his wife with this new book which is just the beginning.  If you do nothing else this year for spiritual growth and personal growth at least be  encouraged to follow pastor Todd and Transformation Church as God is using them to bless millions.

So Relationship Goals, what does that mean?  It sure means more than the cute selfies and posts we see across social media going viral and single ladies using the hashtag #relationshipgoals which by the way, at the time of this article has over fifteen million searches on google.  That is actually 15 million people seeking something for their relationship and rest assure is more than a cute picture to post.

Our friend Webster defines relationships as a state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings, and defines goal as the end toward which effort is directed. So simply put  its safe to say a relationship goal for a couple is being with someone and together work towards a set of goals. Those goals to name a few can be working towards marriage, family and wealth.  The problem is that in order to win in these areas it requires work, it requires being in one accord and most of all a lot of God along the way.  

When it comes to marriage a book like relationship goals is perfect because it goes into a raw look of how to win in dating, marriage and sex.  You can read thousand of books on the subject but it won't mean a thing to you because in order for us to be encouraged on a personal level we need to hear from those that have walked through the valley and come out victorious and it is only by sharing their struggle and vulnerable transparency that we can learn from their mistakes and learn how Gods grace is sufficient for all of us to survive the storms of marriage. 

 Remember free people free people, when you share your struggles giving God the glory He continues to give you the wisdom to win in relationship and that is the ultimate goal.

A Transparent Marriage
www.atransparentmarriage.com

Don't let isolation be your default

According to Webster the definition of default is a selection made usually automatically or without active consideration due to lack of a viable alternative, another definition is in the absence of. 

The Bible teaches us that Jesus often withdrew from people and the demands of his ministry to pray and be with the Father.  It was during those isolating moments that Jesus heard from the Father and prepared for the demands before him. When storms of life sway us left and right in our marriage,  it is easy to default to isolation and hide our pain and suffering from the world leading to feeling depressed and defeated. What if  instead we used those challenging times to isolate welcoming in his presence versus isolating automatically to focus on all the bad things that are happening in our life? 

We learn in Ephesians 4:11-13 that "with God beside us and His Spirit to guide us we can navigate the waters of loneliness and come into the rest and peace that comes from giving up all efforts to satisfy my human desires giving myself entirely over to God" Be encouraged that in moments when life gets rough you have another option to select, you can choose to invite Jesus into your life and let the Father comfort, guide you and give you the wisdom to deal with the situation at hand. 

Allow Jesus to be the alternative default in the presence of conflict and just like Jesus you will hear from the Father.  Remember in Luke 11:17 we read that 'Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them:  "Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fail"  Don't give the enemy a free pass to defeat you, you don't get to confront him alone.

A Transparent Marriage
www.atransparentmarriage.com

The right now life

Can you say "I have maximized every moment with the people I love" The definition of maximize is to increase as much as possible. Let that sink in!

The right now life doesn't mean change everything you are doing by quitting your job, and move to Europe and start your dream life. What it means is, take every moment as a life experience and apply that as the foundation for the voyage of your dreams while never forgetting the most important moments come from your family. 

The right now life is about changing little things right now that establish your future walk in life. What can you do right now to maximize your opportunities in love, family and business? 

Reflection: Big waves start as little ripples and have the power to turn into a Tsunami with the right environment.

A Transparent Marriage

www.atransparentmarriage.com

A quarantined proof marriage

In just two months in 2020 we were a nation of fans, churchgoers and travelers. Now we are a nation at home. A nation of zoom meetings not only for us but for our children. In all this turmoil I remember reading that spousal abuse is on the rise. It made me think what could be the cause of this. Is it that we live our lives so fast that we are accustomed to not spending time hearing our spouses? Is it that our job has been our priority instead of our marriages? And now that we are in quarantine having to share every moment of our day with our significant other that you have taken for granted.

Why do you reflect on the first time you met your spouse. Was it a funny encounter? What was your first thought? Was it love at first sight, or did you grow to love them as you got to know them? During this time that everything is on hold we should be listening, listening and listening some more to what they are saying and understand our spouses feelings. Do you have an issue that needs to be resolved? Has your marriage been struggling but you keep putting off the important things for another day? Now is the time to look at this quarantine aka reset as an opportunity to invest in your marriage.

Be encourage you to try some of these ideas:

Order food that you had on your first date.

Try to find the first movie you saw together.

Make vision boards, one for the places you have been to in the past and the second one of where you want to go, put on it your hopes, dreams and aspirations for the future of the marriage.

Find value in the time together by creating new memories. You can do this by cooking, listening to music and dancing together.

Love in a marriage is like a plant. You have to water it and give it light so it will grow. If this crisis is the new normal then don’t let your past normal dictate the future of your marriage. Go back to the beginning and remember what made you want to marry them I the first place.

A Transparent Marriage

www.atransparentmarriage.com